So my stomach is in an absolute knot. Today the builders arrived with their picks and wheelbarrows to break down the existing walls in order to make place for the new rooms.
This last weekend was spent clearing out my 2 daughters room of everything. Who knew 2 teenage girls could accumulate so much stuff. I am trying to be polite here, in my opinion most of it can head to the dustbin. They seem to have outgrown most of their toys except for their "fluffy" animals, which they insist on keeping. My eldest was given a huge 1 metre white bunny rabbit at birth. Obviously bought by someone who does not have children, firstly white? and then 1 metre big?. Needless to say she is turning 15 in September and still sleeps with it on her bed. A real sight to behold. I am holping to be able to coax it out of her arms especially since we all suffer from allergies, of which house dust mite is the most common one.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Blogger
So 2 days ago I had a whole new post all typed up and ready to publish, except Blogger wasn't co-operating.
Just seeing if it works today.
Just seeing if it works today.
Friday, June 8, 2012
Little bits here and there, and building plans
So it's been about a year since my last post. So much has happened during that time. I started (and ended) a relationship, handled the "divorce" adjustment regarding the kids. Celebrated the anniversary of my divorce date. Enrolled my youngest back into Play Therapy (still divorce fall-out, absence of dad stuff), and now finally am taking the step to build onto my existing house.
I have the approved plans, the re-extension on the bond monies and have met with the builder on numerous occassions now. The last thing I have to do is sign the building contract, and there lies the root of the problem.
It's hard making these types of decisions on your own, there is no validation from anyone else that you are doing the right thing. Singlehandedly having to make the decision that will affect 4 lives again, when you are still recovering from the previous life changing decision that you have made, and sometimes regretted.
Don't get me wrong, I have a wonderfully supportive family but they cannot make these types of decisions for you. They are having to deal with their own daily challenges which includes my brother dealing with unemployment, my sister having a child in another country, not being there for said child's 21st birthday party, the very real possibility that by the end of the year my brother-in-law could also face unemployment as well.
It would be nice to trust someone so implicitly that when they say "Let's do it", you follow them blindly without a second thought. Now I find myself occupying that position for the kids, the one taking control and leading the kids through life, with the help of a sometimes weekend father.
Enough procrastination, where's that contract......
I have the approved plans, the re-extension on the bond monies and have met with the builder on numerous occassions now. The last thing I have to do is sign the building contract, and there lies the root of the problem.
It's hard making these types of decisions on your own, there is no validation from anyone else that you are doing the right thing. Singlehandedly having to make the decision that will affect 4 lives again, when you are still recovering from the previous life changing decision that you have made, and sometimes regretted.
Don't get me wrong, I have a wonderfully supportive family but they cannot make these types of decisions for you. They are having to deal with their own daily challenges which includes my brother dealing with unemployment, my sister having a child in another country, not being there for said child's 21st birthday party, the very real possibility that by the end of the year my brother-in-law could also face unemployment as well.
It would be nice to trust someone so implicitly that when they say "Let's do it", you follow them blindly without a second thought. Now I find myself occupying that position for the kids, the one taking control and leading the kids through life, with the help of a sometimes weekend father.
Enough procrastination, where's that contract......
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Blogging is not for sissies.
Everyday I commit to updating my blog, I find it clears my head and vocalises my feelings. But come the end of the day, I find myself wondering what to write about.
Do people really want to hear about our supper last night, eaten in bed because it is so cold here at the moment?
Do they want to hear about the joy I find in my children every day? The little unexpected "I love you" as I am driving them around to their various activities?
The sense of peace I feel walking into my own home at night? Putting down my handbag wherever I feel like? Cooking supper and appreciating the fact that I can afford to offer the kids something tasty and warm, even though I am not an inspired cook?
The fact that we have pets that provide comfort, unconditional love and loyalty. (I have to make a very difficult decision soon whether I am going to keep them - but that's another blog waiting to happen).
As I sit here typing I have to remind myself the reason why I decided to start blogging in the first place. Not to provide entertainment to the masses (all 1 of you) but to put into words things living in my heart and head. Hopefully my sense of humour does not desert me and I can make this entertaining for both of us.
Do people really want to hear about our supper last night, eaten in bed because it is so cold here at the moment?
Do they want to hear about the joy I find in my children every day? The little unexpected "I love you" as I am driving them around to their various activities?
The sense of peace I feel walking into my own home at night? Putting down my handbag wherever I feel like? Cooking supper and appreciating the fact that I can afford to offer the kids something tasty and warm, even though I am not an inspired cook?
The fact that we have pets that provide comfort, unconditional love and loyalty. (I have to make a very difficult decision soon whether I am going to keep them - but that's another blog waiting to happen).
As I sit here typing I have to remind myself the reason why I decided to start blogging in the first place. Not to provide entertainment to the masses (all 1 of you) but to put into words things living in my heart and head. Hopefully my sense of humour does not desert me and I can make this entertaining for both of us.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
My deep dark secret
I have a dark secret and it's not chocolate or coffee. I read (devour actually) books that are slightly risque in nature. You know the ones affectionately termed "bodice-rippers" by some. They are the mass produced variety and not destined for the best seller shelves. Usually they are hidden in some little corner of the bookshop like moles or bought anonymously from the online book stores where a postal address is an acceptable means of delivery.
The other morning I went to collect my books with my email notification in hand. I usually fold the paper over so the postal workers cannot see the nature of the books I was collecting. I know, I'm and adult, nothing to be ashamed of - Right? But still.
The gent behind the counter takes the paper and folds it open. "Um, actually the tracking number is on the top of the page", I mutter to myself. To my surprise, he looks up and I can actually see the gears working in his head and the thought processes churning away.
"Not much call for this author" he says, "it's not to everyone's taste" Is it, is it? Yes a glimmer of respect in his eyes. It seems that Paranormal Romance is alive and well in the postal services. Who would have figured?
My current fixation is Vampire Romance, nothing as tame as the Eclipse series, oh no, more along the lines of Suzanne Sizemore, Karen Marie Moning, Kerrelyn Sparks and Lynsay Sands.
So now, who can enlighten me to some more authors I just HAVE to try?
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The other morning I went to collect my books with my email notification in hand. I usually fold the paper over so the postal workers cannot see the nature of the books I was collecting. I know, I'm and adult, nothing to be ashamed of - Right? But still.
The gent behind the counter takes the paper and folds it open. "Um, actually the tracking number is on the top of the page", I mutter to myself. To my surprise, he looks up and I can actually see the gears working in his head and the thought processes churning away.
"Not much call for this author" he says, "it's not to everyone's taste" Is it, is it? Yes a glimmer of respect in his eyes. It seems that Paranormal Romance is alive and well in the postal services. Who would have figured?
My current fixation is Vampire Romance, nothing as tame as the Eclipse series, oh no, more along the lines of Suzanne Sizemore, Karen Marie Moning, Kerrelyn Sparks and Lynsay Sands.
So now, who can enlighten me to some more authors I just HAVE to try?
Monday, June 20, 2011
Mom has a hi-fi....
One of the joys of being newly divorced, is trying to maintain a sense of privacy separate from my ex. This is not possible with shared custody arrangements and children.
Last week I decided to spend some money on a PC that we could use to manage and play our music. I have been saving for a while towards this expense, not easy with so much else that needs to be done around the house. All in all I paid about R2000 for the PC. Not an exorbitant sum but for me it is a large amount of money.
The kids were super excited when I brought the new addition home and I spent a few hours setting it up (which consisted of copying our music onto the hard drive, installing iTunes and finding a physical spot for it). This is a major feat for me, since I am technology challenged. After figuring out that the PCs want a 6 speaker system set up (when there are actually only 2 speakers), I declared the music system ready for use.
A thoroughly loud dance party ensued.
I felt exhilerated, proud of myself and content with my life. I did not need a man to help me with this setup and secondly I managed to provide something we have been missing since we moved 6 months ago. Yay.
Come Thursday when ex arrives to collect kids, guess what is the first topic of discussion before we have even loaded their bags into the car. "Mom bought a hifi!!"
I don't want to burst the kids bubble but IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THEIR FATHER. I am trying to establish independence here.
How do you explain to kids that we are no longer together and that he does not have to be privy to everthing I do?
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