The start of the revamp

So my stomach is in an absolute knot.  Today the builders arrived with their picks and wheelbarrows to break down the existing walls in order to make place for the new rooms.

This last weekend was spent clearing out my 2 daughters room of everything.  Who knew 2 teenage girls could accumulate so much stuff.  I am trying to be polite here, in my opinion most of it can head to the dustbin.  They seem to have outgrown most of their toys except for their "fluffy" animals, which they insist on keeping.  My eldest was given a huge 1 metre white bunny rabbit at birth.  Obviously bought by someone who does not have children, firstly white? and then 1 metre big?.   Needless to say she is turning 15 in September and still sleeps with it on her bed.  A real sight to behold.  I am holping to be able to coax it out of her arms especially since we all suffer from allergies, of which house dust mite is the most common one.

My sweet children

Blogger

So 2 days ago I had a whole new post all typed up and ready to publish, except Blogger wasn't co-operating.

Just seeing if it works today.

Little bits here and there, and building plans

So it's been about a year since my last post.  So much has happened during that time.  I started (and ended) a relationship, handled the "divorce" adjustment regarding the kids.  Celebrated the anniversary of my divorce date.  Enrolled my youngest back into Play Therapy (still divorce fall-out, absence of dad stuff), and now finally am taking the step to build onto my existing house.

I have the approved plans, the re-extension on the bond monies and have met with the builder on numerous occassions now.  The last thing I have to do is sign the building contract, and there lies the root of the problem.

It's hard making these types of decisions on your own, there is no validation from anyone else that you are doing the right thing.  Singlehandedly having to make the decision that will affect 4 lives again, when you are still recovering from the previous life changing decision that you have made, and sometimes regretted.

Don't get me wrong, I have a wonderfully supportive family but they cannot make these types of decisions for you.  They are having to deal with their own daily challenges which includes my brother dealing with unemployment, my sister having a child in another country, not being there for said child's 21st birthday party,  the very real possibility that by the end of the year my brother-in-law could also face unemployment as well.

It would be nice to trust someone so implicitly that when they say "Let's do it", you follow them blindly without a second thought.  Now I find myself occupying that position for the kids, the one taking control and leading the kids through life, with the help of a sometimes weekend father.

Enough procrastination, where's that contract......